MY TOP TIPS FOR SELF LOVE

Believe it or not... You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve YOUR love and affection. It has taken me many years of learning and growing to figure that out. As I became an adult that is when I started to notice the difference in my self-love, it came in waves... You see, as I became a wife, a mother, and a boss babe I found that I was spread a little thin on my time. I felt like I needed to take care of all those around me, do all the things, and put myself last. I sacrificed my sleep, my health & my happiness just to make sure everyone else was taken care of. I'm sure some of you can relate... But guess what, I had it all wrong though, I should have been taking care of myself first.

Do you know what happens when you don't take care of yourself when you don't make sure that your balance wheel is going around? You have a meltdown... and that happened to me a year ago. I was trying to be the best mom I could be by letting my kids be in all the activities. I was trying to be strong and support my hubby while he was out fighting wildfires. I was trying to run a household. I was trying to work had and set some lofty goals and was seriously working it every waking moment and I absolutely loved it, until I missed that goal by a tiny little bit. I fell apart, I lost my excitement & I ultimately felt like a failure. This past year has been one for the books, I have had my ups, and I have had my downs, but as they say, you can't bury your failures, instead let them inspire you. It took me a moment to learn and grow from this & couldn't have done it without the support from the fantastic people that I surrounded myself with.

I'm blessed and grateful for the experience I have gone through because failures are a part of life. If I didn't fail, I wouldn't have learned, and I would have never of changed. I would like to share with you what lessons I have learned to hopefully inspire you, to teach you that failure can be a good thing if you are willing to learn from it and show you how important it is to give yourself some love and affection...SELF LOVE.

1.) FILL YOUR OWN CUP FIRST:

Self Care is so important when you take time to replenish your spirit by filling your own cup, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel or cup.

I know you have heard that saying, If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. FILL YOUR CUP!!!!

2) MAKE SURE YOUR BALANCE WHEEL GOES ROUND:

Are you giving attention and time to all things in your life? Draw yourself a pie chart on a piece of paper, write the following categories in each section and rate them.

CATEGORIES:

-Spirituality & Sense of Purpose

-Rest & Sleep

-Good Nutrition & Exercise

-Relationships, Family & Friends

-Work, Financial & Career

-Personal Development

-Creativity & Play

RATINGS:

1-3 Suffering

4-6 Surviving

7-10 Thriving

Once you have rated your categories, make the adjustments that you need to make the wheel go around smoothly. This will take consistent practice but is the key to a happy and balanced life.

"Work, love, and play are the great balance wheels of man's being." - Orison Swett Marden.

3) PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT:

Personal development is investing in yourself and is the first step to developing yourself so that you can go out and make things happen vs. waiting for good things to come and find you. I like to think of it as a compass in life, something that guides you on your journey. When doing personal development, it's essential to take what you have learned and use it in your life with intention.

So what types of things can you do for personal development?

-Read or listen to personal development books that will help you on your journey. When looking for a book, ask yourself, "What do I need on my journey right now?" and then look for a book in that category.

I'm not a big reader, so my Audible account has come in handy. As one of my friends I can share one free book with you, if it's your first time accepting a book from a friend and you don't already have an Audible account. I have 2 options for you for books which are some of my faves and rated pretty high on my list. The first is, Girl Code by Cara Alwil Leyba & the second is, Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.

With your Audible membership, you'll receive one credit each month, which can be redeemed for any audiobook on Audible regardless of its price. You'll also get access to podcasts, Audible Exclusives, and other audio programs ad-free. Additional audiobooks beyond the credits you receive are discounted by as much as 30%. If you want, you can swap books out for no extra charge. And if you cancel your subscription, you get to keep any books you've already collected forever.

-Meditation: Meditate, whether it be getting up a few minutes early so that you can have some peace and quiet or to have time to go through your thoughts and write them in your journal.

-Gratitude journal: This is something that I have always had in my nightstand. It allows me to reflect at the end of the day and appreciate all the little things that I experienced that day.

-Affirmations, I AMs: I am a firm believer in the law of attraction and that thoughts equal things. What you put after the words, I AM, is powerful, especially when you believe and say them with intention. Check out all the affirmations I have pinned on my Affirmation Pinterest Board.

I write me I AM's on my mirror so that I see them in the mornings and evenings as I'm getting ready. I repeat them to myself with intention. I also have a digital vision board on my phone that also has I AM's on it, I see that all day long because I'm working from my phone most of the day.

-Having a mentor: Find someone you look up to and ask them to be your mentor. A mentor will stimulate your personal and professional growth as they will inspire you, brainstorm with you & help create boundaries that you usually wouldn't set for yourself.

So how much time do you need to devote to Personal Development?

So for me, I multi-task to get my personal development in. I will listen to my audible books in the car while I'm driving vs. listening to the radio or I will listen to them as I get ready in the mornings. I work on my I AMs while getting prepared for the day and journaling comes at the end of the night. It is different for everyone. Some people may be able to devote 1 hour per day and others may only be able to do it 10 minutes a day. Every little bit helps, ultimately do what you have time for.

4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE:

There's a saying that we become like those we choose to hold closest. So look at your inner circle... are they who you would like to become? Do you admire and respect them? Do they support you? If they don't then maybe you need to open yourself to those who inspire you.

"Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground." - Wilfred Peterson

Every morning I go get myself a healthy shake and you guys, it's not just about the shake, it's the energy I get from the people I surround myself with. They are the people who inspire me, brainstorm with me & and we have great conversation. I choose to start my day with that energy.

5) DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS:

"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt. If you compare your work, your life, or whatever else, it will only make you unhappy. It ultimately creates competition vs. community. Instead, judge your work by your principles and leave comparison out the entire equation.

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, take a moment to stop and reflect on your life and all that you are grateful for. Pull out your gratitude journal and write 3 things down that you are thankful for at that moment. That will flip your mind.

6) FIND HEALTHY HABITS THAT CAN BECOME A LIFESTYLE CHANGE:

I will be honest, this I have never been great at, but I am learning. I'm not great at eating... yes, I start my day out with a healthy shake but then I forget to eat the entire rest of the day & I still love to have a Pepsi. So, here's what I have learned over the years and has helped me. Don't do the fad diets, find something that works for you and that you can continue doing for life. For me, I love my Herbalife Shakes, weekly snack prepping keeps me on track & setting timers in my phone to remind me to eat, helps tremendously. Everything comes with moderation, don't deprive yourself. If you have been craving something, treat yourself once a week or find a healthy way to create it. I can guarantee you if you are willing to learn you can make anything healthier or find a recipe that someone has already created. Don't beat yourself up... as I said, I love my Pepsi and when I decide to stop drinking one daily, I can still allow myself to have one weekly and WILL NOT beat myself up about it.

As far as working out goes... find something that you love. I despise gyms! I always feel like everyone's looking at me, I know they are not, but that's me. You don't have to go to a gym to workout. I have been known to lose weight by working out to home workout videos, go to Zumba classes & ride a bike.

7) TAKE A MOMENT TO GET READY:

Believe me, I have my days when I really just don't want to get ready, and I just want to hang out at the house in my comfy clothes. But guess what, if I take even just 5-10 minutes to quickly pull my hair back & put a little color on my face it makes me feel so much better about myself and gives me more confidence.

If you find yourself getting stuck in a rut, make an appointment for yourself every morning so that you have to get ready and get out of the house or be like me and schedule a LIVE makeup tutorial.

8) DO THINGS THAT SET YOUR SOUL ON FIRE:

Your talents are Gods gift to you, and he gave them to you for a reason. Show the world what you have to offer. Everyone deserves to set their soul on fire to make sure that you are setting time aside to do the things you love.

"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don't hoard it. Don't dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly, like a millionaire intent on going broke." - Brenda Francis

I have to say thank you to everyone who has loved me,supported me and inspired me as I have grown into a better individual and realized that I needed to love myself first. Self Love takes consistent practice, it isn't a luxury but a necessity. What does Self Love look like to you? I want to hear it!

XOXO,

Crystal